So the second day and a busy one. Plenty of meetings in the calendar and a fair amount of work, and a Springer Spaniel that needed a seriously long “walkies” at lunchtime.
After dropping the little one off at school (still hobbling from the de-casted leg), it was back to home base with work mode well and truly on. The morning passed rather uneventful and lunch was soon upon us, “C” doing his usual manic circles of delight when he sees his lead in my hands. On it went (as did my Anathema Resonating Tunes Spotify playlist), and off we popped.
The whole town has been covered in a chilled misty/fog for the last two days so walking down the lanes and around the park was rather eerie. I recall not passing many cars (if at all any cars) on the way to the park, and definitely no people. I was not sure whether it was because of the weather, because of the music I was listening to, because of the heightened tinnitus or because of the attunement 2 nights ago, but I felt somehow different. I guess it was all of those things, but I felt floaty/dreamy, in control but more aware or connected with things.
As I followed the dog across his random path through the yet-to-bloom daffodil stalks, I became more aware that my tinnitus frequency was markedly higher than normal. About that time I had a call from my wife who said that her step-dad (who suffers from dementia) had had another episode and couldn’t find his way home. She managed to find him ok, and was going to be late back and she was making him a brew and staying a while. Still in the park that was devoid of legs (except the 6 from me and my dog) I sent him a Sei He Ki symbol, the symbol often called the Mental-Emotional symbol, which is particularly useful for healing intellectual, psychological or emotional problems, and for creating harmony and balance. It was only later on in the evening that I realised that I did it wrong, as the Sei He Ki symbol should have been the filling of a Cho Ku Rei sandwich, but to err is to human as they say and I’ll know next time.
Late afternoon, I decided to do a quick blog about my journey into Lucid Dreaming before I forgot what it was I wanted to (b)log. As I was typing, I spun around on my office chair for some reason and looked out of the window, to see that my friend who had asked me to book her in with “L” was going into a neighbour’s house. Realising that I hadn’t yet confirmed her re-appointment, I went over and briefly spoke to her to tell her she was booked in. In all honesty I don’t think she is convinced it will do her any good. We had quite a conversation about it a few weeks back, and she knows of my journey since the dark days has been down to (to some extent) my open-mindedness with yoga, meditation and reiki. I told her that “L” was amazing, a listener, a life coach, and if she didn’t get anything from the reiki element, I’m 100% certain she would get something by just being around “L”.
After dinner, I popped my daughters coat on and whisked her off to the hairdressers where she was booked in for a trim and a pamper session (hair braid and nails done) by way of a treat due her to being so brave last week getting her cast off. Whilst she was in the back room, a song came on which made my hair stand up on the back of my neck. Last week, the wife and I decided that for our vows renewal in Las Vegas at the end of May, we would chose John Legend’s “All of Me” as our aisle/first dance song, the lyrics perfectly penned, poetically poignant. Coincidentally, half way through the song, my wife called up from college, so I held out the phone to the speaker so she could hear what was being played.
Still in the salon, I noticed that there were some flyers next to me, and thumbing through some of them I found a Mindful Meditation course, a 4 week course which started on Monday. Reading further I saw that it was from the local Buddhist group, and decided that it was still not what I was looking for so didn’t take one, besides which reiki was going to take up all of my available time over the next 3 weeks.
After dropping my daughter back home and tucking her up in bed (and under the watching eyes of her elder brothers) off I went to the college where I was a willing patient/victim for my wife who was being assessed for her Holistic Therapy Course. After the forms were filled out, on the bed I popped and away we went.
As I needed to get 6 self treatments in during the next 20 days, it was the perfect opportunity to start. As she was giving me a Swedish massage, and moved my hands into several different reiki positions as she herself changed body parts. Having a
massage done at the same time as reiki was pretty good. I felt calm, very relaxed, even when some of the elbows went in.
As she was working my lower legs and my hands placed on the heart chakra, I noticed a twinge/pulse in the space between my “groinal garden” and my naval. It was at that point that I had a vision (not a physical image or projection like a TV – more of a feeling) of my Aunt “J” who passed over last year. Not sure why I specifically thought of her but I did (maybe it was because she died of bowel cancer and that was the area where she had her pain). She was a really strong woman who I liked and admired very much. I’ve never seen someone enjoy life so much. I recall that when we got back from living in Malaysia, the wife and I were out in Liverpool late and we bumped into her, dancing in the street outside a pub with some of her friends. She was 78. Awesome.
A vision of my nan then popped into my head, and at that point I thought that they were colluding to give me some sort of signal, to perhaps resolve my “primary problem”. The vision of my nan didn’t last long and the feeling subsided.
The wife then beckoned me to turn over and I did so, still feeling very calm and relaxed. Carrying on with my own self treatment I got back into a meditative/hypnogogic state quite quickly, and then it hit me – a tinnitus spike and a feeling (a “Future Echo” as Dave Lister from Red Dwarf would describe it). All of a sudden, I was on a beach. New Brighton beach. I was in a yoga position and I had a stick in my hand. In front of me were three symbols drawn in the sand, two Cho Ku Rei either side of the Hon Sa Ze Sho Nen (the distance symbol in reiki), the energy coursing through me.
I was sending the energy (more specifically my tinnitus) back in time to the night that I acquired tinnitus in the first place, a time in life where I was quite frankly a loser, a 20 year old bum on a downward spiral with no purpose in life. I recall on that night that I was totally smashed, and fell into an hallucinatory type state being buried up to my head in sand, the waves crashing over my face. When I awoke the next day I had tinnitus (which I have had ever since) but it was from that day onwards that my life changed. It had to. Having this constant noise inside my head was pretty debilitating at first, but over time one learns to live with it and adapt. It wasn’t long after that I got my first temporary job, followed by my first permanent job and I’ve not looked back since.
So what had I just witnessed. Was it me being totally bonkers crazy, had I lost the plot? Was it a waking dream? Was it an actual dream? Was it a connection with something else? All I would say was that whatever it was, it was profound, and if there was a way to send stuff in time (past, present or future) to “heal” and I was confident to do it (without it affecting my psyche), then why not?
Many people (including those that know me) may well think I’ve lost it. To them, all I can say is that I am in a happy place. I am calm. I now have an amazing relationship with my wife, kids and friends. I have a well paid job and I get to travel all over our little blue dot. If by doing yoga, meditation and reiki I can continue to feel like this without having to rely on others, drugs or alcohol, then why not…
After dressing, I went to pay the college tutor who is also (funnily enough) a reiki master. I didn’t share my cubicle experience with him, but told him I was currently doing my Level 2. We talked a while and he showed me how he gets his energy flowing, by placing his hands near to his heart chakra until he can feel like an invisible pull, at which point he sends the energy down through his legs and into the floor grounding himself. He then lets himself going from the heart and forms like a tai chi movement, and then commences with the reiki treatment. I told him that in my experience, the energy starts at the crown and the 3rd eye chakra (pineal gland) and it can become very intense. I told him that “L” said to me to bring the energy down a notch and the tutor also said that bringing the location down from the centre of the brow to the centre of the heart will also help.
Noted for future reference, and after thanking him for his sage words, we made our way home, exhausted…