The bed in the hotel room was quite hard, but I sleep like a baby. So well in fact that I don’t recall dreaming at all. I’m not sure whether that is because I slept lightly or slept deeply, will have to find out about that as I don’t know.
‘The best laid plans of mice and men, gaan aft a gley’ as they say in Dumfries. I did get up early-ish at 6.10am, but not enough time to get a yoga or quick reiki session in.
Felt quite positive in the run up, during and after my meeting with the management team today. In general, I don’t recall ever a trip to London where I’ve felt so de-stressed. The yoga and reiki is definitely paying off I think. I like all of the positivity in my life just now. There were times over the last 3 days were I could have easily joined in with the negative vibes, but I chose not to join in and instead tried to put a positive spin on things.
Went for lunch in the sun with “N” and “L”, and a harpist was playing in Canada Park and the sun beat down which was nice as I tucked into my falafel salad.
Not much in the way of coincidence or reiki connections at the time of me getting on the train back to Liverpool. I’m sure there will be no doubt on the train back to my loved ones. I do have a bag of bacon and cheese Tijger Nooijes so I’m sure I’ll be popular when I get back. Need to have a word with our Luke as he hasn’t been that nice to the wife, especially as she has been ill over the last few days. Not going to shout, just going to calmy ask him to stop acting up.
So I’ve done a bit more research about possible alternative theories regarding tinnitus. I kind of liked it so here is an extract:
TINNITUS – AN ALTERNATIVE THEORY By Keith Beasley
I have been a tinnitus sufferer for many years but have never felt happy with the various explanations that have been put forward to explain it. Whilst accepting that the condition in some people may have a purely physical cause, I remain convinced that it is nearly all ‘in the mind’. Some years ago I started monitoring my condition and developed a theory as to how my tinnitus occurs. This ‘model’ I offered to other ‘sufferers’. The feedback I received was overwhelmingly supportive of the theory in the hope that others will share the benefit that I have received as a result of this understanding.
Tinnitus as a helpful friend on your path through life!
2. Related Symptoms
My tinnitus is not the only physical symptom that I regularly suffer from. I find that when my tinnitus is bad then so are the following:
* Dry eyes: I wake up with eyes that are nearly glued together with some form of gungy secretion. During the day my eyes will often feel uncomfortably dry.
* Catarrh: I wake up with a blocked nose which can be very difficult to clear. I’ll often need a good half an hour on waking to ‘clear my tubes’ – e.g. a good cough and spit! The more intense the tinnitus the more easily catarrh develops and more difficult to clear it.
* Dry, flaking skin: after prolonged intense tinnitus (2 or 3 weeks) I sometimes notice that the skin on some of my fingers becomes sore.
* Jabbing kidneys often accompany the worse periods of tinnitus.
It seems reasonable that these symptoms have the same cause!
3. What Triggers Tinnitus
It is acknowledged that stress can make tinnitus worse. Why should this be? The indication is surely that one of the triggers or symptoms of stress is also a trigger for tinnitus. Since both relate to mental activity, one could conclude that it is the mental state of a stress sufferer than causes tinnitus.
I have been conscious of my tinnitus since I started trying to ‘sort myself out’ – i.e. to work hard on my personal self development. It seems to me that the more effort I put into changing my bad habits, to improving my attitude to others or otherwise developing my philosophy of life, then it is during and immediately after such effort that the tinnitus is at its most severe.
When going through a particular mental ‘reprogramming’ (e.g. accepting that accountants are only doing their job and are quite nice people really), there will typically be two distinct phases: First there will be an attempt to understand – a logical reasoning as to what the reality of the situation is: logical thought so the tinnitus is very much in the left-hand side. Then there will be an integration of ideas – new concepts compared with old ones. This is more getting the over-view (my model of life) into a single, self consistent picture: this involves intuitive thought so usually corresponds to tinnitus by the right ear.
4. The Theory
I believe that tinnitus is quite literally the ‘sound’ of the brain working. I don’t mean day-to-day working, like doing sums or working out the shopping list, but deeper thinking. The sort of brain activity that results from asking fundamental questions like “What am I doing here?”, “What’s the point?”. Such questions or other issues to which there is no simple answer and which can, quite literally, affect how we live, will mean that all areas of the brain will probably be accessed. Questions without simple answers that often go ’round and round’ in the mind.
Similarly many of us have ‘mental blocks’ – particular subject areas (e.g. platonic friends of the opposite sex, fear of spiders, etc.) which we cannot bear to talk about. Psychologists tell us that these often relate to bits of memory that we isolate and that the brain will go to extra-ordinary lengths to stop us experiencing that memory. These are all examples of where the brain is not working freely, of where thoughts are self perpetuating or otherwise not actually getting anyway – or doing so very slowly. It is this intense brain activity that is tinnitus.
The working brain we now know to be a complex matter involving significant electro-chemical activity. The more intense the brain activity the more intense the chemical reactions: and the louder the tinnitus.
All chemical reactions result in by-products. The reaction occurring in the brain is no exception. An ‘engaged’ brain will use a lot of energy and create a lot of waste – this we experience as catarrh, dry eyes, etc. Similarly the brain will be using up certain chemicals at a higher rate than usual – perhaps this includes Calcium and explains why my skin is not as healthy as it might me during excessive tinnitus periods. Likewise kidneys are related to the elimination of waste – and will often ‘play up’ when we’re struggling to ‘let go’ of bad habits and old ideas . . all part of the same pattern.
5. A Possible Treatment
I no longer regard tinnitus as something we suffer from. Like many other aches and pains it is one of our bodies ways of communicating with us. The position and intensity of the tinnitus, when taken with other signs (like extent of catarrh, whether I’m worried about a current relationship, etc.) tell me – if I listen – my state of mind. It helps me gauge my progress at becoming more self confident and aware.
Treatment of tinnitus is thus not a matter of treating the physical symptoms but, like holistic medicine generally, of finding ways of tackling the root cause – of treating mind, body (and soul) together. If tinnitus has come about because our minds have got stuck in a rut, then to reduce the effect we need to get out of the rut – to dissolve the mental blocks and get our mind working freely.
I have two approaches to this:
1. Face up to facts and get your problems out into the open: read, write, pain, scream, walk – whatever you can to release the issue. My own favourites are Morris dancing and long, totally honest and open, letters to real friends. It all helps to relieve the pressure.
2. Reiki. This alternative therapy is excellent for any condition, but is particularly suitable for tinnitus and it’s causes. Reiki is the ‘Universal Life-force Energy’ and is increasingly becoming accepted as complementary to both conventional medicine and to other alternative therapies. Working with a trained healer, this energy can work directly on your mental blocks. During my own first treatment, I felt a ‘chili bean’ in my brain – a very small area of intense energy: my mental block literally being zapped away by the Reiki energy. The following day at work, issues that would have got me annoyed had no effect whatever!
You can learn the basics of Reiki treatment in a weekend course and treat yourself. This is what I am now doing. My experience of applying it to the tinnitus is as follows:
Say the tinnitus is around the left ear. The Reiki healing hands would be held again the side of the head closest to the sound. Gradually this area will heat up as the energy goes in. The hot area then extends to encompass the site of the tinnitus. Gradually the mental block causing the tinnitus will be dissolved by the energy and the tinnitus will stop.
WARNING: The process does not end when the Reiki treatment itself stops. Although the mental block may have been removed, the brain now has a lot of processing to do. Tinnitus may remain whilst the related ‘reprogramming’ takes place. This may take hours, days or even weeks. Whatever Reiki has been used to treat it will often release toxins from the body and could result in cold type symptoms. You are normally advised to drink a lot to help flush the toxins (re-programming by-products?) out of the system. I often find I feel light-headed immediately afterwards and may not be quite ‘with-it’ for some days.
I see tinnitus as a sign of wrong programming (e.g. due to social or family conditioning). To eliminate it is likely to be a long job and requires considerable will power. Seen as part of finding peace and purpose to life, however, it is a very worthwhile objective. Reiki tackles the root cause of tinnitus.
6. Conclusions and Theory Development
Based on careful observation of the progression of my own tinnitus a theory has been developed which fits my own experiences. This theory helps me to accept the ringing in my ears and to use it as a positive tool in my personal self development. Since writing this piece I have received many messages supporting the theory. It is also becoming clear that the same ideas and treatment may also apply to allergies and addictions – the answer is not to avoid things that cause such physical problems but to face them and determine their root cause . . often a bad memory or an imposed, unrealistic, view of life. Clear these from our minds and our bodies will be cleared of their dis-ease. No quick fix, I’m afraid – decades of conditioning is likely to take months or years to clear. But freedom from the likes of tinnitus has to be worth the effort!
So what if tinnitus is just trapped energy? If it is just trapped energy, then it can be released. If it is a physical thing, then there is nothing that reiki perhaps can do about that. Once again, the previous me would not have even found that page on the internet, as the sceptic would not have known what reiki was. But I do now, and as “L” said, there is perhaps a reason why things happen at certain times in one’s life. Maybe for me that time is now. So I’m approaching 42, the universal answer to the meaning of life according to Douglas Adams and the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy. That in itself is rather coincidental. Maybe that’s what he actually meant. We start off as innocents, bereft of cynicism and sceptical outlooks in life. Then we learn at a ridiculous rate, taking in all of the positives and negatives life throws at us. Then we reach puberty and genetics throws in a curve ball for us to deal with. Following on it’s the turbulence of relationships (sexual or otherwise), drink, drugs, excess food, the list goes on.
Then comes the children if you are lucky enough to have them. It really is at that point that the path of responsibility changes your life forever, and having kids puts pay to those bachelor days and days of lethargy (or adds to it in some cases).
But I guess eventually like in my case, one has to look forward and plan for the future. Drinking less, eating healthy foods, become well read, looking after the body we need to carry around for another 42 years becomes ever so important.
But it doesn’t stop there. It can’t stop there. We may have our mind intact and our bodies may resemble (ever so slightly) Spartan warriors, but for me there was still a missing piece. Inner self. Inner peace. Spirituality. Soul.
On Sunday, “L” defined what spirituality meant to her. It’s certainly not about religion, nor is it about the afterlife. It’s about loving yourself (not in a narcissistic way). It’s about the law of attraction and surrounding yourself by positive energy. It’s about overcoming fear (and all negative things associated with fear – not in the sense of being scared of something, just in the sense of negativity as an opposition to love). If one overcomes fear, and learns to deal with fear, what to do and how to react to fear (in my case how to confront people, knowing when the best time is to confront people, knowing how to tailor communications so that fear doesn’t turn into anger, and anger turns to hate – and we all knows what happens there, ain’t that right Yoda).
I’ve never really heard of spirituality being described in that way before. I like it. I like it a lot. A wave of energy has just come over me just thinking about the first time “L” and I connected on Sunday. I’ve never felt anything like it before in my life. I have to and want to accept the there is a universal life force that connects all living things. For the appalling film that The Phantom Menace was, the concept of ‘midichlorians’ and the joy that A New Hope brought in the first place at Obi Wan Kenobi’s hut with his ‘force’ description, there is a lot of connections that can be made between Star Wars and reiki. Sounds very cheesy but it’s true.
If one truly believes in the big bang theory, then one must surely believe in universal energy. If we all started from one singularity which spewed out everything from one moment in time and space, then of course we must all be connected in some way or form to the beginning, even if the beginning was billions of years ago.
I don’t know much (almost nothing) about quantum physics, quarks, string theory and stuff like that (maybe I need to converse with “M”), but there must be even if oh so slight, a resonance, a frequency within us all of that event.
Maybe the time is right for me now to search for that missing link. I want to believe in eternity. I want to believe in life after death. I don’t want to be scared of dying. I do believe that as I continue my search for the inner self, I will find peace.
I will continue to be a knobhead I’m sure, from time to time doing crazy things. I will continue to run silly races. I will continue to drink too much on occasion. I will pig out from time to time. That much I’m certain. I will also not treat yoga and reiki as a fad. I’ve been doing yoga for 6 months now and I look forward to that 1h15m every Monday evening. I am looking forward to finding out more about this thing we call life. It’s only taken me 42 years to realise it…
Just this second decided to blog the diary on Infinity Beckons, as I can review my spiritual progress through the app on the iPhone and iPad. Not for anyone’s benefit (not that anyone probably reads or follows it) just for my own. Just looked at the image on the home page. A universal energy spiralling into a glorious singularity. Another sign…