To say I woke up in a panic and sweat is an understatement, and nothing to do with the closeness of the air. As dreams go, the one last night was so vivid and real at the time, I woke up relieved to see the wife lying next to me. Just realised that we very rarely catalogue and analyse our dreams, our daily getting up in the morning routine gradually erases the unconscious recollections of the previous evening and by the time we log in to our laptops, probably not more than 5% of what we remember at the time of waking is all we have left. So it will be interesting over the next 25 nights. I’ve been jotting down my dreams as I wake on the iPhone so when I get to my first brew if the day I haven’t forgotten anything.
The dream itself was a tragic one. I recall being in something like a bus depot or garage in the company of my good friends “M”, “G” and “L”. Staring intently at the 4 dents in the grill of the Jeep, I ask the guy looking over the car how those two distinct sets of dents managed to get there, and the attendant relayed the message that the car had been stolen and the my wife and her sister had been killed in a hit and run accident and the assailant was still unknown and at loose. The two set of dents being their two sets of legs.
Oddly, I felt nothing, just a little numb. Following on the scene cut to the front of either the promenade in New Brighton (where Weatherspoons / Lacys occupy the real estate) yet it was different as there were more levels, similar to the narrow Bed & Breakfasts at the front in Rhyl. The last establishment on the corner was called The Anglesea pub, where I suggested we went to. Once inside, I got talking to the barman, who advised that the building consisted of two pubs, the bottom floor The Anglesea, but the floors above, the pub was called The Belfast. I enlightened him about recent events and that I was looking for a way to find out what happened.
He told me that the girls that frequented The Belfast were in fact hookers, but had a special talent of communing with the dead. So I started to ascend the spiral staircase to the floors above and recall passing “M” who was in a floor length black leather coat smoking a cigarette. The spiral staircase soon tuned into a conventional set of stairwell stairs and I entered The Belfast and gave a scantily glad girl some notes and asked her if she could help. She said that the killer was a dark haired man called Shotwick and that’s all she could reveal.
The scene then cut to me sitting on a park bench made of green metal strips, a wrecked man. A ball of negative energy revolving around my solar plexus, mourning and in agony for my recently departed wife, only for her apparition to appear about 50 feet away from my left. She started circling me, running faster and faster but keeping her distance at the same 50 feet. I could see trace lines behind her, images of herself in like a protective circle around me. I called to her to stop and ran towards her. Her image where she stopped dead became solid and I ran to grab her as the apparition continued to circle. The second I grabbed her I shot up out of bed and unearthed some sort of unconscious primordial sleep-grunt and came back to the land of the awake, rather glad she was still alive.
Reached over for my phone to have a morning surf and read with interest “M”s Facebook status update, and link to his blog site which in short detailed rather nicely mankind’s inevitable journey to the digitalisation of all media. Some debate ensued on the thread on the pros and cons of the printed word vs e-reader convenience and portability, but more interestingly perhaps, later debate on the arrow of time and multi-verse theory currently doing the rounds. I enjoy reading “M”s blogs and scribblings. If ever anyone has a book in them its surely him. As a result of that, may have to watch another episode of Prof Cox later, quality programming by Auntie.
All of that reminded me of the chat I had with “L” on the beach last night, where I postulated (what had Ruddo concurred to on the aforementioned thread), that we are all intrinsically linked to both the start of the universe and to each other. Rather comically he turned to me and said ‘Dad you freak’ and turned to chase the dog off into the sand dunes.
Had to go to the ATM to get some cash out for Jamie’s spends as he’s off the Lanzarote for two weeks, and in my infinitive wisdom decided to go to Morrisons and not Nat West, as the later invariable says ‘Sorry, this machine is out of order’ and Morrisons has two to ATM’s and not one.
Of course positive energy has a lie in every now and again and rightly shows that the second law of thermodynamics is true and exists (regarding high entropy), in that chaos and disorder still reigns supreme at times, as both machines were out at Morrisons and almost smugly the Nat West one beckoned me to insert my card. Note to self, do not assume too much in life.
All this talk of Entropy. Logged into Facebook with my mid morning coffee to find that “J” (of my Bloodstock Band of Brothers) had updated his bands page today, wishing his fellow Metal to the Masses contestants all the best in tonight’s heats. Oh yeah, and his band’s name, why Entropy of course…
Had my Mid Year Review today which went well as expected, and spent most of the time discussing existential stuff, with me acting as more of a life coach than a corporate mentor which was rather satisfying.
Through the post popped my annual pensions statement, giving me a breakdown of what I’m worth should I retire at 55, 60 or 65 based on my current rate of pay. I’m still adamant that come 55 when my mortgage is fully paid off and I’m debt free (besides the wife’s inevitable Next bill) I am out of the corporation for good, and will take a part-time role somewhere, hopefully in a more creative/humanitarian/philanthropic role, my own arrow of time.
Later in the day, I beckoned the wife into the ‘office’ and asked her about the tattoo design we both intend to get, based on the chakras. Of the 24 tattoo designs on offer, I had already preselected mine. Of the 24 tattoos on offer, she selected the one I had preselected. Quite some game of chance, even more ironic that the place in which my pain was swelling in the dream last night was the solar plexus, the exact chakra both of us selected today…